Victim of my GENESis

I’ll admit it: I am a victim! I’m so weak that I can’t even protect me from my fear of attack… I say I want Health while acting as if I wanted to be poor and sick; a victim! As long as I stay in the dark – sabotaging myself, I don’t have to understand what Power is or to question the significance of what I want… I know that, if I were to understand WHY I do what I do, I’d have to change! While I can sense that Power is like money, I take great care to not inquire on what moves me to waste it or give it away… Do I have so little self-esteem that I’d sell my soul to the Devil and prostitute my vision? If every decision I make is an investment, I am terrified of the consequences of choosing the wrong “fund.” I therefore let you decide or BE the CAUSE of where to invest. And if I don’t care for the consequences of what you chose for me, I’ll blame you and seek retribution! So yes, I want to be free, but without paying the price… What I really want is not freedom; it is to be free of responsibility. I am thus like a child, following the whims of the wound. And since Health requires for me to grow up, I’ll just remain poor and sick.